CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

The Pain of Weakness

Marquis de la Mole had never been angrier. He screamed at Julien.

"I am not perfect," Julien said. "You have been very good to me. The only people that understood me were you and this delightful person."

"Delightful?" the marquis shouted. "When you found her delightful you should have left!"

"I tried. I asked you to let me go to Languedoc." Julien answered.

"You should have fled. It was your duty."

Julien quickly wrote a short letter.

My life is unbearable. I want to kill myself. I'm sorry for bringing trouble to the marquis.

"Take this letter and kill me, or have your servant do it," Julien said.

"Go to hell!" screamed the marquis.

Who can I talk to? Julien thought. Count Altamira? Can he stay silent forever? Father Pirard won't help me; he is too much of a Jansenist. Wait, I'll confess to him. Then he'll advise me.

Father Pirard was not completely surprised. "I suspected this love. The marquis will probably try to send you to America."

Mathilde was very worried. Her father had shown her Julien's suicide note. "If he dies, I will die too. Maybe you'll be happy. But first I'll be his widow in public. I won't be afraid."

When Julien returned Mathilde met him outside. "You must flee!" she said. "Stay with Father Pirard. I'll handle everything here. You must trust me."

Father Pirard told the marquis that Mathilde and Julien must be married. "Anything else would be a crime before God," he said.

Marquis de la Mole saw this wisdom, but it made him angry. He was ambitious. He wanted his daughter to have a noble husband. I never thought this could happen, he thought. This century is crazy!

(end of section)